Critique of a colleague, delivered in a clear, constructive and supportive way, can be highly effective. Freddie Guilmard, of leadership consultancy RTP, outlines how to convey it.
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WORKING in sales for many years, I did not care much about receiving feedback because, as long as I met my target, everything was good. Or so I thought. But then, a conversation with my CEO changed everything.
What was extraordinary, though, was that it took me a few years to realise that I had received the most powerful piece of feedback without ever feeling judged or criticised at the time.
And that takes some skill.
Leaders will get the team they deserve and I have seen too many poor examples of feedback conversations that had little impact and achieved very little as a result.
And here might be one of the reasons why. Imagine the scenario:
“Hey Mike, do you mind if I give you some feedback?”
“Oh! … well, sure, go ahead.” (Thinks: “If you have to…”)
“Listen, amazing job this morning at the meeting. I thought the way you came across and how prepared you were showed that you had really thought about your audience. The content was really clear and your approach was highly engaging.
“The way you handled the questions and objections came across as very professional, and I would be very surprised if the board didn’t sign off on this. Well done.”
Now, I bet some of you immediately thought ‘Here we go, another one with an unwanted opinion’ because – let’s be honest – why would any of us take criticism from someone from whom we would not want advice?
The truth is, we are so preconditioned to receiving feedback only when we have not done something right that many of us already feel triggered just by hearing the word ‘feedback’.
I remember coaching an executive a few years ago who was really struggling to gain support from her key stakeholders – or so she thought. The reality, however, was very different.
They were extremely supportive but also quite frustrated because they felt that every piece of feedback they gave her was interpreted as a personal criticism of her leadership. As a result, this negatively affected their working relationship. She even commissioned upward feedback from her direct reports to demonstrate that the issue was with the stakeholders and not her.
Sadly, when I received the feedback, she instructed me not to tell her anything. So she never heard all the positives her team had to say nor did she learn where they felt they needed more support from her as a leader.
So why do so many of us shy away from asking for and seeking regular feedback or even from feeling comfortable giving feedback ourselves?
As I mentioned earlier, we are preconditioned to focus only on the negative. But another reason is that many of us are simply not trained or skilled enough to deliver feedback effectively.
The most effective way to deliver one-on-one feedback is to make it clear, constructive and supportive.
Here are a few things I have seen done well over the years:
- Always prepare before giving feedback. Do not just shoot from the hip.
- Be specific about what you want to address.
- Provide examples and focus on what you have observed, not assumptions.
- Timing is everything and location matters.
- If you need a structure, use the SBI (Situation-Behaviour-Impact) Model.
- Balance positive and constructive feedback but do not use the “sandwich” method (good, bad, good) – people will only remember the filling.
- Make it a two-way conversation. Ask for their thoughts, feelings and views.
- Follow up.
- Practise your delivery and ensure the feedback is about them. Feedback is a skill that can be learned and developed. When done well, it can be life-changing.
Back to the feedback I mentioned earlier. I did need executive coaching, I did hear some difficult truths and I would not have been able to take action without that insight.
It was life-changing because, ultimately, that is why I started RTP 13 years ago and I have never looked back since.
Thank you, Simon.
Freddie Guilmard is chief executive and high-performance coach at RTP, a boutique consultancy that supports leaders in building human organisations.
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